Friday, January 28, 2005

Straight Pride

A University of Central Oklahoma student group is planning what it calls "Straight Pride Week" on campus.

Members of the College Republicans said despite objections from some, they have every right to celebrate.

"The general gist is that if you are a straight student on campus be proud, be loud, this is your time to shine," said college Republican Kyle Houts.

The group has posted fliers on campus that read, "we're here, we're conservative, we're out."

Hey guys, great. Why stop at just one week though? Those Blacks get the entirety of February. Might as well go for the gold and get White History Month.

Here's an idea: Why not celebrate the acheivements of straight white men year-round? That'd really stick it to the minorities, huh? If we took up the entire year celebrating our culture and allot them a few measly weeks. If this country needs anything, it's a new holiday celebrating Heterosexual Caucasian Middle-Class Awareness.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Bush willing to back out of Iraq
Bush has apparently said in an interview that if the new Iraqi government wishes to have American troops withdrawn, he will do so. It will be called Operation How To Retreat And Still Make It Seem As If You're Spreading Democracy Throughout The World.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Gay Remarks Posted on County Website
A woman was surfing the web recently and found homophobic comments posted on an official county website. She requested that they be removed, but the Sheriff resisted, claiming the comments were his own personal views.

Marshall County Sheriff Mac Holcomb under pressure from county officials has removed anti-gay remarks he posted on official page of the Sheriff in the County's Web site.

The posting, a letter to his constituents, called homosexuality "an abomination."

The sheriff, reflecting on growing up in the 1940s and 1950s, wrote: "Men were men and women were women and there was no mistaking which was which ... Homosexuality was very queer and a despicable act ... an abomination."

So let's see... a homophobe reminiscing on how great the old days were. Kind of sounds like Archie Bunker. Think of this verse from the theme song...
People seemed to be content
Fifty dollars paid the rent
Freaks were in a circus tent
Those were the days

Bush responds to bribery

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- President Bush ordered his Cabinet secretaries Wednesday not to pay media commentators to promote his legislative agenda, saying payments by the Education Department were improper and new leadership was now in place.

New leadership? No, George, you were president before, too. Bush also said "Our agenda ought to be able to stand on its own two feet." However, he said nothing about the injuries those feet have sustained by being constantly shot and inserted in mouths.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Nixon secretary dies
Oh, no!

Rose Mary Woods, the devoted secretary to President Nixon who said she inadvertently erased part of a crucial Watergate tape, has died. She was 87.

Only the good die young.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

The moral crusaders
Well this is interesting:

A Catholic church plans to bury the ashes of as many as 1,000 aborted fetuses Sunday, raising a storm of protest from those who accuse it of exploiting the pain and grief of women for political purposes.

The Sacred Heart of Mary Church obtained the ashes from a mortuary that had a contract to cremate remains from the Boulder Abortion Clinic. But the clinic said it didn't know the ashes were being given to the church.

You have to admit though...abortion is WAY worse than grave robbing.